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Chess Guide (Humor).

March 5, 2010 5 Comments

It is well known, chess is for intelligent people and thinker. But we can play. This guide is not intended to transform them into great players, but in winning the game. Briefly Win, no matter what the first thing we do is cueste.Lo explain the elements.

Top: 8 x 8 squares interspersed black and white, we can clearly see that the game is not discriminative at this point, numerdadas 1 to 8 and from A to H, so that we can see that this is a game illiterate learning process.

Pieces: 32 pieces. White and black 16 16. Each player (two at least two maximum) must choose pieces all the same color, thus we began to notice signs of racism in the game.

Each piece has a name and a role in the game. They are:

Pawns: They are what they call cannon fodder. Always go forward, in a box in a box, with the motto retoreceder never ever give up. The only downside is that any piece, enemy or not, to be put before the pawn does stand still, so analyzing it, proved a very funky piece that faces the other. Come in "diagonal", a rather fine restaurant area Vilcapuyo. We have 8 of them.

Horses: We have only 2 of them. They move by drawing a L. Follow their movements is an almost impossible task, but over time, it is just impossible. They jump over the other tabs, move both forward and backward, in order to make your life.

Bishop: Skinny boring simply move diagonally. He who moves among white squares, only it does whites. Which it does with black, only black, showing once again, the racism of this game.

Torres: They are our strength. They move around the board horizontally or vertically, and his favorite food are the pawns. His hobbies: Smoking and Smoke argollitas do. We only have 2, so we look after them.

Queen: She who sleeps with the boss of the game. Actually moves around the board, and eat as much pawns as horses. A queen pretty, um, could ........?

Rey: Actually, it is the most useless of the game but, as in life itself, is the one who handles all the other pieces. Everyone should protect and, if necessary, to die for it. In addition to useless, slow moving, of 1 square per turn.

Well, on the positioning of the tabs, you should read another manual as it is a common rule in any game of chess. Just to say that the laborers, such as farmers or workers in life, go forth to die faster. Showing, once again, discrimination and anarchy of this game.

The first player is the owner of the white pieces, latent racism, and can move the tab you want and can. It is important in this game not only see the face of another player, but have you believe that we are devising a wonderful and macabre plan. Evil laughter before any movement will. Relamernos. Move your hands, like counting how many moves we left for a checkmate, it is essential. At the same time murmuraremos unintelligible sounds, and among their midst, sound "... I like the bishop and mate ..." or similar.

During the game not the view we will remove your opponent at any time, this so, the moment that is distracting, we will take a sheet and revolearemos the table below. It is not advisable to take very important pieces. It makes no sense, for example, take the king and throw it 13 yards to the north, as our opponent, noting the absence of such a piece, will notice that we are cheating a great play, and do not want to play.

When his turn will try to distract your attention with empty talk of content, but at the same time intimidating. Garry Kasparov tell us how to copy our moves or that time when we beat Frank Mayer 2 to 1 in the Supplementary gold checkmate.

If after a time, 2 to 3 minutes, we are outnumbered, use Bayer maneuver consisting of sneezing turning pieces as many hands and, why not also kicked the table. This done, a "Sorry, back to zero" reach.

GREETINGS I hope you like .... Wink Wink

Source: http://ircopcito.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/tacticas-y-estrategias-para-ganar-al-ajedrez/

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5 Comments »

  • Bitacoras.com said:

    Information Bitacoras.com ...

    Rate in Bitacoras.com: It is well known, chess is for intelligent people and thinker. But we can play. This guide is not intended to transform them into great players, but in winning the game. In short: Gan ......

  • Ircopcito said:

    The source you cite is not who wrote this, simply copy & paste made ​​from my original post http://ircopcito.wordpress.com/2007/07/16/tacticas-y-estrategias-para-ganar-al-ajedrez/ and took as their own (typically online).
    While it would be good to link to the original post.

    Aioz. -

  • irobe (author) said:

    Ok I change, it seems you're right, thanks for warning.

  • Ircopcito said:

    Thank you very much.

    Aioz. -

  • aferdum said:

    I think this post is an insult to chess

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